We live in an era of relationships. Being in a relationship is a fashion today. Everyone wants to be in a relationship. You need someone to be called as your girlfriend or boyfriend. The quality of relationship does not matter much. You go with the trial and error method. A little attraction towards a person makes your mind to think that he/she can be your true soul mate. Really?? This is non-sense thinking.
First, if you’re single obviously you have pre-concepts about how your partner will be. And in your thoughts, you have decided that everything will be perfect in your partner; be it looks, nature, passion, behaviour towards your parents, love blah blah…… And when you are attracted towards someone, what you actually do is, you impose the picture in your mind to that person. Although you don’t know the exact nature of person, you assume it is the same person just because you think the looks feature match.
Looks are the first thing how you judge the other person to be. Although this thinking is faulty, still you choose your partner merely by looks. Now, the image in your mind is a combination of looks and other qualities and as time passes, if the other qualities contradict to your thinking, or there are some habits in the other person that are hard for you to tolerate; you start feeling suffocated and you want a break up. You created a relationship that was based on looks; but now, when you know it’s not exactly what you want, you want to be out of it.
Now, you’re in pain and you think that it is because the other person has broken your heart. That’s not true. Love did not even begin. You are in pain because you thought that you’ve met your soul mate and you won’t be alone; but you find that this person is not your soul mate. That special person is still to arrive, you don’t know how? And you’re still alone. This loneliness makes you in pain. That does not mean you’ve loved the person who was with you.
Now, you try to find someone who could fit into your frame and you believe that you’re experienced now, so you’ll be able to make better choice next. No, that’s not true. You have to realize what you want. You willingly try to fall in love. That won’t work. You want the other person to be what you think your partner should be. And I bet even if the person who is with you does this all for you, it does not guarantee that you will be happy with your relationship.
So, what actually to know that whether you’ll be happy in a relationship or not? This looks like a mystery, but the answers are really simple. Don’t rush into a relationship. You’re single, definitely you need your soul mate and you’ve waited for long to be with him/her. If you need sour soul mate, it does not mean that it can be anyone.
If you find someone to be attractive, don’t directly say, “I Love you.” Just stay in touch and try to know what your heart says. Think that you are merely attracted to that person or you like that person. And still love is just nowhere. And mostly people start relationship when they are merely attracted to each other or like each other. Be precise in your thoughts. Don’t take decision when you’re confused.
Take time and do not worry, the one who is meant for you, one who is created for you, will be yours for sure. If the other person also likes you; have conversations about how you think of your life with your soul mate. Don’t hesitate; speak. If you’re not comfortable talking to that person, how will you stay with that person for a life time? This is a big life; you can’t live with just anyone.
Now when you discuss your individuality with that person, find out whether that person respects you or not? Every person has a self-respect and if your partner is the person who has no respect for you, your job, your family; you can’t love that person, you can’t be happy. And basic nature of a person cannot be changed. So, be precise what you want.
But it’s not one-way, when you want something out of a relationship; you should be ready to give the same. When you’re sure that you can stay comfortably with that person for a lifetime, knowing his/her habits; then only start a relationship and hold that hand who wants to be with you; who loves you for what you’re; whom you love a lot.
Now, it does not mean that everything will be smooth in a relationship. You have to be devoted to your soul mate. Give respect; understand what he/she wants. Be there, when he/she needs you. Help him/her in taking decisions, if he/she wants you to decide. Respect when he/she has taken a decision. Stick to promises. Be available. Make that person your priority, but understand do not suffocate him/her.
Allow him/her to be with his/her friends. Trust him/her. Talk freely, if you have something in your mind, talk about that and there should be no filtering of thoughts. You’ve to be real because your partner deserves to know you. Make your partner feel special. And most important, when with friends, do not make your partner feel lonely. If you could be hurt by your partner’s so close friends, why your partner won’t be hurt by your close friends? I’m not saying that leave your friends. Don’t make him/her feel that he/she is next to your friends, you won’t like it if you get the same behaviour. And deep in your heart, you know well; your partner comes first. Why not you can say that to him/her?
Love needs to be cared, expressed whenever you feel it. Never hurt your partner by saying, “I was happy single”, because you’re not. You wanted a relationship and when you’ve it, you don’t realize what you have!! You have everything, but no gratitude towards what you have.
If you still keep on finding other people to fall in love with; I’m sure life will snatch the beautiful heart it has given to you as your partner because you don’t deserve it. And when you lose your true love, you won’t be able to smile again and even if your mind will give you excuses, your soul will always oppose you ego as it knows that you’ve broken two hearts because they were meant to be one.
Be devoted to your relationship, when you know your bond is real; don’t let the hearts break. There is no space for ego between soul mates. Love unconditionally. Don’t give unnecessary excuses like long distance, lesser talks etc. These are temporary, if you remain devoted to that one and only person, you’ll be together a day, definitely. These are just complex paths of life which everyone has to go through.
And life is a game of choices. If you can choose to be with that person no matter what, life will affirm your togetherness. Life tests whether you’re worthy of true love or not. And excuses are just for the weak. If you hold someone’s hand, stay devoted to that person. And obviously everything is mutual. It cannot exist one-sided. Life is an echo, it will give you back what you give to it. You give love, you’ll receive love. You give devotion, you’ll get devotion. You’re honest, life will be honest. You’re fare, life will be fare.
Don’t doubt life, just keep it simple. Stay natural. Stay happy. Stay good.